I recently came to the realization that my house is completely out of order. It all started a couple of weeks ago when I completely forgot about a pair of tickets to see Ira Glass performing at the Smith Center. Those tickets weren’t cheap and I’d been looking forward to the show for months. The day of the show came and I spent the day baking cakes and making bolognese, totally oblivious to the date. Ten minutes before the show was to start, I found myself standing in the kitchen, dressed in flour-dusted sweats, staring in shock at the reminder on my phone. I have never completely forgotten an event like that! I felt like I was going to be sick. The next clue came when I found a long-forgotten medical bill under a pile of papers on my desk that I had set aside to investigate. But the straw that broke the horses’s back, was the Thing I Found in the Pantry. It was an unidentifiable mass in the bottom of the box where I keep the potatoes and …